True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
