I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize