life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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