your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
