i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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