is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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