the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize