I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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