where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He passed out mid-signature
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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