he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home