If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
