Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
soo... how was my night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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