You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
