Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
