I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
