she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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