KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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