hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
