The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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