i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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