I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
