i just wanna soil my oats bro
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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