what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
