Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
