Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
