I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
