a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
