is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
