im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
