I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
