ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
