yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
