you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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