i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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