that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
