i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Someone signed my nipple.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
