Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
