I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
