My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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