hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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