He is such a slut. More and more my type.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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