i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
