I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
