Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
