The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
