is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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