If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
