So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
