now i know why i became what i already was.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's blow job season.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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