I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
