My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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