She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
