i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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