Need sex. Gaining weight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
