im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
