Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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