im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
