remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
