also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize