The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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