i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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