My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I party with great urgency now.
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