oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
